scattered

Have you heard of the One Word thing? Where people choose a word to focus on and commit to throughout the year? I've never thought through it enough to come up with a word, and, honestly, I think it's kind of weird to use just a word. I mean, I have 9 or so main goals for this year...how am I supposed to choose a word and have that be applicable to all areas of my life? So, I'm not doing it. But if I were, I just decided my word would be FOCUS.

I am so all over the place. If you cut my brain in half, you would see yellow sticky notes on top of yellow sticky notes full of lists and to-dos. For about 10 years I've described my brain as a bunch of pick up sticks (remember that game?) that were held up in a neatly standing bundle, then just dropped. Sticks going every which way on top of one another, and to pull one out, you risk dismantling the whole pile.

I think part of my problem with focusing is that I have convinced myself that I am a pro multitasker. I'm coming to realize that multitasking does just not work. Instead of seeing a project/task/activity through from start to finish, I start a few things and finish none. And then the guilt...

Another issue is that I have so many interests. I want to do crafts with my kids and make fun meals and decorate the house and sew and start a business and read books. Why can't I just create more time?!

Ann told me that "God gives us everything we need for space - but we will have to make space. God gives us all the ingredients for time - but we will have to make time. God gives us everything we need to live - but we will have to make a life."

That's what this season in my life is, I've decided. I'm learning how to make space and time and a life. Attempting to weed out the time wasters and and energy suckers that don't make a difference. This is not an easy process. For crying out loud, I'm currently alternating between writing this post and scouring a new blog I just found. Geesh. But slow and steady wins the race, yes?

So I'll just be over here, making my field and spending my time.