I really thought I was going to go into labor early. Like at LEAST a week early. But the week of May 12 came and went. Oh, I had been hopeful a couple of times that labor had arrived, like the Tuesday evening before my due date, when I was having contractions every 10 minutes. Even though I had only been dilated to barely 1 cm earlier in the day, I still hoped. But the contractions had stopped. Just like they stopped after starting up again a couple days later.
On Saturday, May 18, my official due date, I felt fine in the morning, so we went to the Farmer’s Market as planned. I was happy to be able to go, actually, because it was Farm Day at the Market, and Asher got to see and feed a bunch of farm animals and play in hay and do other farm-y things.
Sunday morning came and at around 4:30am, contractions were about 15 minutes apart. And they actually hurt some. More than any the previous week. This lasted until around 9:30am, when they stopped. Ugh. Michael took Asher to church so I could rest. Then they picked me up on the way to the church picnic. At least I was going to get Taco-in-a-Bag. I had been joking with friends the previous Sunday that I was okay lasting until beyond the picnic if I meant I got to enjoy some delicious tacos in bags.
After the picnic we relaxed at home. While the contractions picked up again mid-afternoon, they weren't as strong as they were in the morning. But around 6:00pm, they began to hurt more and more and become more consistent. I started timing them; they were around 10 minutes apart. This continued until I went to bed at 11.
As soon as my head hit he pillow, the contractions came much harder. It was increasingly difficult to relax through them. I woke Michael up a couple hours later when I needed to get in the shower; I couldn't handle laying still in bed anymore. I needed some relief, hopefully in the form of hot water on my back.
The contractions were coming very fast all of a sudden, so Michael called the on-call midwife. We got through to Cindy, who was woken up by our call. Michael explained what was going on. She asked to speak with me. I attempted to answer her questions between contractions, but didn't have much time. We were a bit surprised when she said she'd meet us at the hospital. Both of us were concerned that I wasn't far enough along in my laboring to go yet. But we obeyed.
We prepared to leave, packing up last minute items, and readying Asher. I did what I could between contractions. The hour and a half car ride was horrible, though the contractions did slow a bit, which made us wonder even more if we should have been going to the hospital. But we made it there, and Asher was safely at our friends' house (the DiQuattros).
As soon as I got out of the car, the contractions came faster. We walked into the hospital and to the check-in desk; I had to stop every couple of minutes or so to work through contractions. We saw Cindy approaching, and at this point I was so relieved to be inside the hospital. There was no doubt that this was really full-fledged labor!
Cindy led us to our room. I told her I wanted to get in the tub as soon as possible. She then informed me that I would have to lay on the bed for 20 minutes first so they could get a reading on the baby's heart rate and contractions. This was torture. The pain was amplified, being as I wasn't able to move around and to try to mange it. I finally made it through to 20 minutes that seemed like eternity. Cindy decided to check my progress, saying that it might be the only time she would need to do so.
She checked, and...I was at 8cm! I was shocked. I can't believe I progressed so far while laboring at home! Michael helped me into the tub, and Cindy helped me to get situated in a position where I was supported by Michael. I had to be monitored continuously since I was attempting a vbac, so I had two wireless monitors on my belly. I called my mom at this point to let her know I was in labor; I think she was surprised to hear that I was already laboring at the hospital, and already 8cm!
The warm water helped to ease the pain very minimally. And I was extremely disappointed that the tub was more like a jacuzzi tub than something deeper. I so wished the water would cover my entire back. The best i could do was recline on Michael, who was supporting me while kneeling outside of the tub. The groaning noises I was making grew louder with each contraction. I was trying to remain calm and to relax, which was nearly impossible. I thought to myself, I wonder what Michael is thinking of these noises I'm making. It's probably hilarious, but he better not laugh at me. I thought other things during this time, which were hilarious to me, but there was no way I had the energy to crack jokes. But I was very aware that I still had my wits about me.
Cindy had me turn around and kneel, facing the side of the tub, while moving my knees apart as much as possible. I assume this was to help the baby move down. She told me I could try pushing at any point that I felt like i needed to. After laboring there for a few minutes, we heard a very loud noise, and I felt my water break. More like explode out of me. The noise had been a strong kick from the baby, which we heard through the monitor.
Following the water breaking, the baby's monitor was not picking up her heart rate. Cindy assumed she had shifted after my water broke, so she reached in the water and moved the monitor around on my belly. Every so often she'd catch the heart rate and reassure me, "Listen. Do you hear that? That's your baby. She's doing fine." To be honest, I wasn't really worried about the baby at the time. I couldn't think of anything except to focus on getting through the current contraction, which seemed to come right after the previous one.
After a while, Cindy wasn't satisfied with the readings she was getting on the heart rate from the monitor. She told me to get out of the tub and onto the bed, to which I replied, "I can't." At which point she simply declared, "You have to." So with Cindy and Michael's help, I climbed out of the tub and onto the bed. Cindy and the nurse were working together to find the baby's heart rate. They ended up inserting an internal monitor. Cindy had me turn around, situated on my knees, to help the baby descend further. Over and over I complained that I couldn't do it, and each time Cindy would say I could and I had to. I really didn't think I could. In my own strength, there was no way. I was at a place of complete reliance on God. I constantly prayed that he would get me through this. After pushing in this position for a bit, she had me lay on my back.
At this point, Cindy told me she was going to lift up on my cervix, and I would need to push hard to get the baby past. Evidently, I had a cervical lip that was holding baby back. So Cindy lifted and I pushed. Hard. And it was excruciating. But it was effective, and now the baby was about an inch from being out.
The next couple contractions had me pushing. Cindy was holding my right leg, but I couldn't hold up my left leg on my own anymore, as all my remaining energy was directed to pushing. So I said something, and Michael moved to the left and held my other leg. Time didn't exist at this point. Everything seemed to be moving quickly, but I had no sense of how long it had been. I didn't have a irresistible urge to push, like I'd heard about, so I was confused that Cindy had me pushing already.
At one point at the end of a contraction, I gave a little extra effort to the push, and Cindy said, "That's it. Push just like that." So on the next contraction I did. It took everything I had in me. Cindy told me to stop pushing, but hold it, so I could stretch for the head to come through. I hated her. Then she told me to push just a little. Then a little more. They aren't kidding when they call it the ring of fire. I continued to push, and the head was out. Every once in a while, I would make pushing noises. Cindy kept telling me to not make noise. I guess my pushes were more effective when I was silent. Michael repeated everything Cindy was telling me to do. Like, constantly. It was kind of funny, actually. It probably was helpful for me to be constantly reminded.
Next I pushed out the rest of the baby. I think this part happened quickly. It hurt way more then I thought it was going to, but as soon as the rest of the baby slid out, the pain disappeared. Complete relief. She was born at 5:47am on Monday, May 20, two days after her due date. Dawn was just breaking, and early morning light began streaming in the window. Cindy was wiping off the baby, and I realized she wasn't crying. "Why isn't she crying?" I asked. No one answered. But very soon after, I heard her, and Cindy handed me our baby girl, with her umbilical cord still pulsing.
I noticed how chubby her cheeks were. I looked to make sure she was really a girl and checked for any noticeable deformities. (We had only one ultrasound at 20 weeks, so I wanted to be sure everything looked good.) She laid peacefully on my chest for a long time. I held her while I pushed out the placenta (which took a little more effort than I expected) at 12 minutes after her birth. Michael cut the cord, then Cindy stitched up a tiny tear and "scratch" (she called it) from pushing. All the while, I rested with baby in the new morning light. I was completely exhausted. Totally spent. I had been up since the previous morning at 4:30am and had just accomplished the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life.) Michael took some pictures, and we stared at our newborn daughter.
During this time, Michael told me that the cord had been wrapped and her neck twice, and that she was dark purple when she came out, which is why she didn't cry right away. He explained that Cindy pulled her out while I pushed, and when she unwrapped the cord right away, the baby immediately got pink. As I held her, there was some lingering purple color on her forehead.
The nurse gave her a shot of Vitamin K while I held her. She wanted to take the baby to weigh and measure her, but Cindy intervened for us and said, "You don't need to do that right now." She knew we wanted as much time as possible to bond with our baby before they took her.
Cindy told me that I had pushed for 24 minutes, which she said is amazing for someone's first vaginal birth. She also said that I would have ended up in the O.R. had I not pushed the baby out as quickly as I did. It turns out that she was more concerned about the baby's heart rate than she had let on. I'm so glad that she remained calm and focused during my labor and delivery. After a while I attempted to breastfeeding her, which went well. She fed for about an hour, then we got ready to change rooms and get Haven checked.
I didn't have anything to eat for a bit of energy, so Cindy pulled out a granola bar from her purse. She wanted to make sure I didn't pass out when I stood up. She also pulled out a knitted had she made for our baby. It was so sweet. Cindy was exactly what I needed her to be for me. She didn't baby me. She was reassuring. She intervened for us with the hospital staff. She was extremely proactive. I am so thankful for the work she did that morning. Cindy gave me a hug and kiss, and she left. I wish I had gotten a picture with her.
Michael then got to hold our baby for the first time. While they bonded, a new nurse helped me stand (I didn't faint), and use the restroom. I got cleaned up, and she helped me into a wheelchair. Michael pushed the bassinet and carried our things, whiles the nurse rolled me. We went to the nursery. I sat outside and watched while Michael took the baby in to get weighed and measured. We finally found out that she weighed a whopping 8 pounds, 15 ounces! I couldn't believe it! I thought she looked bigger than Asher had as a newborn, but I was shocked that she was nearly 9 pounds. She was 21 inches long.
Our morning was filled with calling family and telling them our news. in the evening, our friends came to visit and brought Asher. it was so good to see that little boy.
Our stay at the hospital was brief. We left the following day. But I made sure to fit in my complimentary massage and our complimentary couple's dinner. Before left, we chose our sweet girl's name.
Haven Joy.
"They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven." -Psalm 107:30
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