Wanting too much

I used to think that the reason I am indecisive - honestly, I can't make a decision to save my life - is because I am a perfectionist. While I am definitely that, I just had an enormous revelation that it's not my perfectionistic tendencies that cripple me. . .it's that I want too much - everything. I want every possible option.

I want both the dutch chocolate and the strawberry cheesecake flavors of ice cream. So I take 15 minutes debating in my head why one might be superior in this particular case. I want this job and that one. I want to live here, but I want to live there. I want to grow my hair out long, but I want a cute, short cut. I want the ribs AND the cheeseburger at the Broadway Pub, and send our waitress away 5 times because I've not yet decided.

I want to write, knit, scrapbook, sleep more, paint, organize, exercise. . .you see my dilemma. Not enough time. Not enough me to take it all in, take every path. I don't want to miss out on any of it. Any of the possibilities.

A friend posted this quote on her facebook page. This clarifies it a bit:

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."

-Sylvia Plath