Feeling very discontent today. Wondering how I’m going to make it to 5:00. Wondering how I’m going to last until there’s a change, and God only know when that will come. It doesn’t help that I only think about doing things, rather than actually doing them. Feeling a little stuck. So my evenings (and my days, for that matter) are filled with meaninglessness. Something in me is really lacking motivation to get off my butt and do the things that might bring some purpose.
And there are some more mundane things that I am hoping to get done this week, such as finally picking up all my scrapbooking stuff from the sunroom, cleaning out my closet, getting rid of tons of unused junk in our house. . .and I’ve been really wanting to start accounts at goodreads.com and flickr.com. . .it’s just easier to come home from work, go straight to the couch, and sit there until it’s time for bed! Does anyone feel me?! It’s just plain easier to feel a little sorry for myself.
Funny, as I’m writing this, a song is playing on my computer: Break Me Through by Bebo Norman. A little hope, maybe. . .here are some of the lyrics:
"I think that I can hear it. Is it a trumpet or a train? And now I'm drawing near it. And it's calling out my name. I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ve got nothing to prove in this mess. There's nothing to lose but all this emptiness. Show me that life shines with you. You show me that life shines with you. Break me through."
Hm.
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